Tales of the Geeky Vixen

Mr. Geeky V and I headed to our local cinema to a sold out viewing of 2012. We normally don't hit the big shows on opening night, but we were feeling adventurous. To sit through a 158-minute movie, plus commercials and previews seemed like a daunting task. Would the disaster-ridden special effects juggernaut hold our attention? Would we be able to make it that long without running to the bathroom? Would the awkward family in front of us who argued for 15 minutes before the previews keep their traps shut? Stay tuned!

Roland Emmerich is a fan of blowing up landmarks and making big disaster movies. He is, after all, the guy who had aliens blowing up the White House in ID4, and who covered New York in snow in The Day After Tomorrow. This time, though, Emmerich goes for broke in 2012. The premise is very simple: the Mayan calendar runs out, and so does the Earth's expiration date. Scientists, including Dr. Adrian "call me Adrian" Helmsley (Chiwetel Ejiofor), make the discovery in 2010, so the government finds a way to save the upper crust of society before the Earth's crust crumbles. Helmsley begins working with Carl Anheuser (Oliver Platt) to be able to predict exactly when their plan needs to go into action. Danny Glover is president, and his daughter Laura (Thandie Newton) works for a company whose sole purpose is preserving paintings like the Mona Lisa.

Fast forward to 2012, where author Jackson Curtis (John Cusack), separated from his wife Kate (Amanda Peet), is rushing to pick up his kids for a camping trip to Yellowstone. As he's rushing there, a tremor creates a crack in the pavement, and the audience braces for what is to come. There is, of course, the establishment of the story of the estranged father picking up his kids from the wife he still loves and who he suspects deep down still loves him. There's the obligatory new boyfriend, whom Curtis's son has taken to as a new father figure. The trip to Yellowstone takes a weird turn as they discover a dried-up lake, and Charlie Frost (Woody Harrelson), a conspiracy theorist and pirate radio talk show host. He tells Curtis some of his crackpot theories, including one about the imminent disaster and the way the government is planning on surviving.

All of the characters have some familial loose end, as is the case with most disaster films. Adrian doesn't talk to his father that often. His father's jazz partner (George Segal) doesn't speak to his son. Jackson is separated and his family are living their own lives. The President and his daughter are separated by duty.

There are other stories intertwined, most notably the ones of Yuri Karpov (Zlatko Buric) and Dr. Satnam Tsurutani (Jimi Mistry). These characters play a big part in the film in different ways. Yuri is the typical rich guy whose money has bought him a ticket to survival. He's painted in very broad strokes throughout the film. No big surprises with this guy. Satnam is instrumental in setting up the scientific aspect of the film.

The true star of this film was definitely the special effects department. The main reason I wanted to see this in the theater was that I knew with Emmerich there would be a lot of crumbling buildings and wonders of the world being reduced to rubble. In that respect the film didn't disappoint. It was pretty, and the action made for some edge of your seat moments.

The weaknesses of the film where just where I expected them. There were the cookie cutter characters, the stories of estrangement with the potential for redemption, and the contrived ways the characters from each intertwining story somehow wind up in the same place. Add to that Hollywood's overwhelming need to save dogs at the expense of characters' well-being, and one act of superhuman strength that made us laugh out loud (I call it the Fastball Special--trust me, you'll know what I'm talking about), and you have every other disaster movie you've ever seen.

The thing is, it doesn't matter. Overall, this movie is an enjoyable experience. The special effects are fun, and the story is tolerable. It's not good, it's not bad. It's a step above "meh". Bottom line, I would recommend going to see it. Sure, it's familiar, but if you were ever curious what the apocalypse was going to look like, look no further than this film. It is pretty when it's on the big screen, but still a harrowing experience.